“G00SE”. AKA “DATE ME PLEASE”

12 Dec

My date would depend on the personality of the girl I am with. I have many options to choose from
I. Fun date: Go bowling or shoot pool, grab a couple drinks, maybe a movie, walk around at an out door mall and grab a bite to eat whenever we get hungry. I love food, all food, so whatever the date desires is where/what we eat.
II. Typical date: Dinner, movies, and whatever our little hearts desire to do :-) (grab some drinks, walk on the beach, etc.)
III. Go to the beach, walk around, get something to eat, get some ice cream.
All depends on the date and the time of day :-) The “OO’s” in my profile name are the number zero (both of them), not the letters… and yes, zero is a number :-)

Hobbies: Smoke Hookah with friends and play cards/backgammon, Hand out with younger sister (12) and brother (16)—got to movies, miniature golfing, laser tag, beach, just going out and having fun. Rarely go to bars, don’t like the scene… LOVE traveling. I have been to 28 countries and 12 states.
Goals: Will have my Master degree in December, so I went ahead and marked it off on here anyway :-) I have been to 28 countries, so I want to visit more! Going to Europe next June for 6 weeks/14 countries, can’t wait!!! Other goals include buying a house next year and hopefully advancing in my position at work. I have a lot of other hobbies related to my job, but my job will be disclosed once we get to know each other a little more ;-)
ME :-) I am a big goofball, most of my friends’ comic relief, very sarcastic, laid back, go-with-the-flow, extremely good hearted (too much for my own good) and patient (once again, too much for my own good). I am very understanding but hard to get my trust. Once you do, you have all of me ;-)
Music: I love all music except country music. It is depressing.
Movies: I love all types of movies, no limitations, yes, that does include chick flix :-)

Other things about me: I admit when I am wrong, and I sincerely apologize. I am driven for my goals and very dedicated to those I am with. I have a past that I have yet to meet someone who has not judged me for, but my present and future are my concerns, and should be yours too. I cherish family, but I have learned that sometimes family isn’t the world. I do not speak with my older sister, but that was my decision for the greater good. I have never cheated on anyone, and never will give it a thought. I was cheated on before, so I do not wish to pain someone as I once was pained. Someone’s heart means too much for me to play with.

Personalities I very much dislike:
Jealous, Judgmental, Pessimistic, Materialistic (e.g. million unnecessary ownership of shoes, complain if you lose something, etc), someone who is not humble for what they have, Hypocrite, Not Spontaneous, doesn’t like to travel or do new things…. This is pretty much it in a nutshell. Most women fall under these categories. I want a girl who is the exception to the rule. These are the rare girls that I tend to cherish, adore, and unconditionally dedicate myself to.My date would depend on the personality of the girl I am with. I have many options to choose from
I. Fun date: Go bowling or shoot pool, grab a couple drinks, maybe a movie, walk around at an out door mall and grab a bite to eat whenever we get hungry. I love food, all food, so whatever the date desires is where/what we eat.
II. Typical date: Dinner, movies, and whatever our little hearts desire to do :-) (grab some drinks, walk on the beach, etc.)
III. Go to the beach, walk around, get something to eat, get some ice cream.
All depends on the date and the time of day :-)

DAVID!

12 Dec

Mr. btw”I live with someone”…3 dates in…

12 Dec

this dude was dating this chick the whole time we were together…he offically had 2 girl friends…he still tries to hit me up when they fight…douchelord

Mr. Diabetic Seeizure on my bathroom floor..

12 Dec

Okay so this is Mr. Diabetic Seizure on my bathroom floor at 4am guy…Met him when I was like 16. He was 21 or something…completely treated me like a piece of ass and then over the years I would see him since I was dating one of his friends and then he got married and that was it…10yrs later he finds me on FB. Recently divorced w/ a 3yr old daughter same age as my son and says he has been wanting to find me for some time and felt bad for how he treated me in the past and wanted to see if there would be a spark…so I say okay let’s Sunday Funday it up in HB. He comes w/ his friend…pays for mostly everything..I argue w/ my ex to keep my son for the night so he can come up to my house and hang out. We get there…chill…drink a bottle of wine and then I pass out. I wake up at 4am and he’s not there..I’m like, did he leave?? Looked at the door and it was locked so nope he didn’t leave. I get up and go into my room and there he is having a diabetic seizure on my bathroom floor….he obviously wasn’t taking care of himself so I am like are you okay? Do you need me to call the ambulance and he says no he’s trying to get through it and then sure enough he needs the ambulance. I call them…he’s so embarassed he tries to go outside to meet them and they’re like dude…go back inside so we can treat you. They come back in my living room…proceed to ask if weed is the only thing we did that night…lol must have smelled so I say yes that’s it and then after a few minutes they take him to the hospital. Poor guy has to work the next day after getting released and gets a cab back to my house…I get his ambulance bill in the mail and don’t hear from him too much other than a text on how embarassed he was. Now being the nice person I am I give him the benefit of the doubt. He just had some health issues he wasn’t taking care of his diabetes properly…SO I agree to see him again. He comes over..this time it’s me and my kid. I’m cool with him coming because again if anything he has a kid and we can do kid things together plus I’ve known him for years so it’s cool…he wants to go to dinner…I’m not feeling it…it’s Sunday night and my kid is HORRIBLE in public. Well I succumb and go to Claim Jumper. I smoke him out and it’s medical weed…lol so we get to the place and we’re waiting for a table. He tells me that he thinks his blood sugar is low and needs a soda. The lady at the front gives him a soda and he goes outside. He comes back in 10 min or so later profusely sweating and tells me he needs to go pass out in my car. I’m like Really!?? I am not leaving right now my kid and I are eating…so he goes to my car. I eat w/ my kid who is terrible. Spend $30 on a meal I never wanted to go too…think to myself..should I get him something to eat?? FUCK NO….we pay and leave and I go outside and he’s completely passed out in my passenger seat…spilled soda all over my dash board…I’m sooo irritated I ask him, you can drive right??? The date was obviously over at that point and he needed to leave. Good thing is he left his pipe at my house…which I needed because I just broke mine and then finally after a few months texts me to say he’s sorry and doesn’t expect me to call but wanted to apologize for abusing his medication and being depressed but that I am an amazing woman and hopefully someday I can forgive him…Okay I’m good with one medical incident but 2 in the only 2 times I’ve seen you in 10yrs is just too much. Definitely a douchebag who clearly couldn’t hang with the likes of Missy. Looks like he got his karma for treating me like a piece of meat 10 yrs ago. Way to go douche! Drink up! Just make sure you turn that insulin pump on high next time!

plenty of fish and the truth behind the lie..

5 Dec

There is this website…its called plentyoffish.com…this site claims:

Plentyoffish has More Dates, More Relationships Than Any Other Dating Site.
Our matching system for online daters helps improve your chances of finding a relationship by filtering out singles you would never date. Within minutes of signing up we give you 30 singles we think you would most likely date. Try It Now!!

 

Okay, so I tried this website.  In my nieve state I figured, you know what if they are right, what if there are really millions of people out there looking for the exact same thing that I am looking for…something a little more substancial than some douche walking up to you in a bar asking if you want to get out of there real quick..(thats a story for another day).

So I tried this website, I even got some of my girlfriends up on the site.  And yes there were “plenty of fish” in that .com sea.  However in the intial “disclaimer” I was guarenteed to find millions of people who are looking for the same thing I was looking for…turns out this site is nothing more than a bunch of douch bags, who talk about how “down to earth” they are…you know there are a lot of “down to earth” dudes down there.  Holy!  They all paint this pretty little picture…and  yet each one you talk to is the same as douchelord you spoke to previously.

God forbid you actually meet up with one..ha

If you want a really good laugh you should sign up for that site and see the crazyness you will get from there…one douche after the next..

Its good entertainment though, you just cant take these men seriously…oh and I heard the women on there are a bit much as well..I will follow this with a couple of the douche fish Ive cought on that sit…HOLD PLEASE..

Fat

30 Nov

This guy I swore off called me last night and told me that he was in my area and wanted to stop by. Hesitant, I said ok. When he came over I was in my room talking on the phone. I soon hung up and was greeted by him trying to kiss me. I ducked and created a distance between us. He said it was good to see me, then he starts looking at my boobs. He says- “Wow, your boobs look bigger… Have you gained weight?” I was blown away. I told him that he should leave. He looked at me and said “Why are you all insecure?”- WHAT? I thought? – Ummm you just asked me if I gained weight. That is the #1 questions you NEVER ask any girl- skinny or fat!- I mean is this guy serious? Who says that? Douche-da-la-no-soul!!!

Top 50 Reasons Hot Girls Date Douchebags

21 Nov

What is it about hot girls and douchebags that just doesn’t make any sense? We’ve all seen it, yet it still amazes most people that nice guys finish last and the jerk gets the girl. Here, we’ll attempt to explain this phenomenon.

  1. They want an easy out: If you’re dating a jerk, no one is going to think you’re crazy for wanting to dump him once you’re tired of him.
  2. They weren’t douchebags to begin with: Some douchebags are created once they start dating a hottie and think they can get away with it.
  3. Douchebags are more passionate: Some girls date jerks because “safe” guys are more mild.
  4. Douchebags are fun to complain about: We’ve all met her-the girl who loves drama. And dating a douchebag is sure to bring attention-inducing drama.
  5. They don’t know what they want: Some girls date jerks because they just don’t know what they’re looking for.
  6. Affection from a douchebag means more: If a guy is a total jerk 90% of the time, the 10% that he’s nice means a lot more, which will keep girls hanging on.
  7. They have low expectations: Hot girls know that the majority of guys out there are douchebags, so until they’re ready to settle down, they are happy to play around with jerks for a while.
  8. They’re on the rebound: A girl on the rebound is often looking for a man who is shallow and offers low maintenance attention, which douchebags are happy to deliver on.
  9. Douchebags are more attractive: The douchebags who are attractive know they’re attractive, and realize that they can get away with being a jerk.
  10. Women like mystery: Douchebags, with their spotty affection, offer a certain degree of mystery that girls love.
  11. They’re douchebags, too: Girls can be douchebags, too, and douchebag girls tend to like douchebag guys.
  12. They think all men are douchebags: Some girls just don’t realize that there are guys out there who aren’t complete jerks.
  13. Jerks are big and important, didn’t you know?: Plenty of douchebags are sports players, rich doctors, and other “important people” who usually get a free pass to be a douchebag and get the ladies.
  14. They don’t realize they’re hot: Some hot girls don’t realize that they’re hot enough to never have to date a douchebag.
  15. They’re too young to know better: Girls new in the dating game may not understand that douchebags are to be avoided.
  16. They just want sex: Some girls are just looking for a physical relationship, which most douchebags are more than happy to provide.
  17. They like the chase: “Nice” guys tend to give girls lots of attention, but douchebags give girls the elusive chase that they want.
  18. Douchebags are honest about being douchebags: Honesty about going for what you want is a sign of strength for many women.
  19. Douchebags are always on the hunt: Douchebags, unlike nice guys, are always trying to score a new hottie, which means they’ll have a better chance of finding one.
  20. They’re afraid to be alone: Some girls are so afraid to be alone, they’ll date anyone, even a jerk.
  21. Nice guys suffocate hot girls: Some hotties stay away from nice guys because once they get their hands on one, they’ll never have a free moment away from him.
  22. Nice guys are too shy to say something: Often, nice guys take a more passive approach to dating, which means girls may not even know they’re being pursued.
  23. Douchebags are persistent: Douches, on the other hand, are much more forward, making girls aware of their attraction.
  24. They don’t know they’re dating douchebags: Some girls truly have no idea that the guy they’re dating is a jerk.
  25. They don’t want surprises: Douchebags, among other things, are incredibly consistent and easy to predict.
  26. Douchebags command attention: Girls notice douchebags because they’re more likely to seek out attention.
  27. Peer pressure: Nice guys and hot girls are often just in a different social class.
  28. They’re rebelling: When a hot girl breaks up with her “nice guy,” she’s probably going to want to find the exact opposite of him-a douchebag.
  29. They don’t want to become emotionally attached: With a douchebag, a girl can be assured that she doesn’t have to worry about getting too emotionally intertwined.
  30. Douchebags are powerful: Often, douchebags are powerful people in their regular lives, which is generally a turn-on for girls.
  31. They want a challenge: Some girls like to think they can be the one to turn a douchebag into a nice guy.
  32. They want what they can’t have: Girls often like to pursue relationships with men that they know will never commit.
  33. They like to be treated like crap: Some girls have such low self-respect that they expect to get bad treatment from a guy.
  34. Nice guys don’t offer a spark: Douchebags often offer a chemistry that “nice guys” can’t.
  35. They don’t want to feel bad for being a douche, too: When you’re dating a douchebag, there’s less pressure to be a nice girlfriend.
  36. They come from an abusive home: Some girls come from an abusive background and just date what they’re used to.
  37. They love confidence: Douchebags are confident, and women like that.
  38. They’re lonely: Lonely girls would rather date a douchebag than no one at all.
  39. They like bad boys: Bad boys are exciting, and girls will date them even if they’re jerks.
  40. Jerks are well connected: Whether they’re in a frat or exclusive social circle, douchebags are often well-connected to the ladies.
  41. They want to be dominated: Some girls like domination, a quality that most douchebags offer.
  42. Other hot girls date them: When one hot girl dates a douchebag, other hot girls think that he’s dateable, too.
  43. Girls like danger: Again, bad boys and danger are exciting, and girls like that.
  44. Douchebags have money: Douchebags often have wealth, or at least wealthy parents, which is very attractive to some girls.
  45. They’re bored: A little drama from a douchebag is sure to cure boredom for most girls.
  46. They can smell nice guys’ desperation: Hot girls often stay away from “nice guys” because they start to get too clingy.
  47. They have low self confidence: Some girls don’t think they can do any better than a douchebag.
  48. They have something to prove: Some girls will take on a douchebag as a challenge to show others she can make him a nicer man.
  49. They’re into status: Hot girls are wooed by the douchebag’s nice car, cool job, and appearance of wealth.
  50. Life sucks: Perhaps the simplest way to explain the hot girl-douchebag phenomenon is to say that life isn’t fair, buddy.

oopps..

20 Nov

So this one I met while fishing one day on plenty of fish- first date was great, second date was a little weird he decided that “due to my 3 date rule” he wasnt getting laid so instead decided to man handle me in every other way possible, throw me up agenst the wall, pull my hair, leave black mexican hickies all over my body- a little odd, but I have to admit it was kinda hot so I came back a third time…”3rd date you know what happens”, spent the night and it was okay….
I woke up the next day slightly dissopointed in the previous nights preformance, the chemestry was off…I dont need to go into thorough details.
Leaving his house on my way to the car at 7am I send my girl friend a text ” just leaving D’s house, talk about the walk of shame, something is def. off with that  boy, remind me of that next time I say I liket him”- text sent-
TEXT SENT TO “THAT BOY” INSTEAD OF MY FRIEND- OOPPS…
Poor guy prob. thought he was providing me with the preformance of the year…only to ge this text by accedent….poor douche.

Douchebaguetts

20 Nov

Wow!!! Today was a big day for the DOUCHEBAGUETS…lemme tell ya! This is a quote from a message i got today from one of my friends girlfriend:

“I don’t know how this goes in bro code but you should hit me up when ur in town. u were way cool n deanna & jenni asked about you n your coolness lol. for real, no disrespect to xxxxxxxxx but u would be a fun friend to throw in our mix!! call me and lets all hang out!! 714 xxx xxxx…”

I bet my homie would like to know his mrs is a slut…her friends too, as they both have boyfriends…

Girlzthesedayz…or is it douchette’sthesedayz ????

WTF!!!  I hope i never end up dating a chick like this…

Whos the real Douche?

20 Nov

So…here goes post 1 for the boys in Plenty Of Douchebags….that now include some women!

Ok…so i take this girl out for a meal and a few drinks…we end up back at mine smoking and getting baked.

I end up trying to politely get rid of her a few times, but she doesn’t get the hint…in her case persistence didn’t pay off!!!  She started to annoy me with desperation and what seemed to me to be “no game”…

She ends up calling me a PUSSY because i didnt smash it the first night (or since then EVER)!!! You should have seen her face as i was kicking her ass out at 2:30 am…classic!

Who’s the real douchebag here!!??

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